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A funny story

April 13, 2019
Southside and a Corpse Reviver #2

When we were in Asheville for my birthday, we stayed at the lovely Foundry Hotel. It was gorgeous, with a fun lobby lounge and cool design. We probably won’t stay again, though – it was fairly noisy (we could hear our upstairs neighbors walking around), the view was of the back of a police station, and the price was incredibly high in comparison to something similar in another city. Also, there was The Fight.

We were sitting on a posh sofa in this lovely lounge, enjoying a couple of craft cocktails before dinner, when we noticed a kitchen guy in an apron kind of loitering around. He was a little disheveled, and noticeable. Then from behind us, another guy – calm, cool, collected – walked up to Kitchen Guy and asked him a question. At this point, the bar staff seemed a little nervous about the situation, so we were paying attention.

Kitchen Guy says something back, and Cool Guy just PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE. Kitchen Guy does NOT want to fight, so he’s just backing away, trying to avoid all the punches, until he tumbles over our posh sofa and lands with his foot pushing against my leg, while Cool Guy just PUMMELS him. Kitchen Guy is yelling, “help! help!” while J is trying to push Cool Guy off, and another bar patron is pulling him back, and the bar staff are trying to figure it all out, and I’m just thinking, “this guy’s shoe is so dirty and it’s on my jeans and I was going to wear these tomorrow.”

Finally, Cool Guy leaves, and Kitchen Guy is just sitting there with his head in his hands saying, “Oh my God. Oh my God.” – still with his big ol’ foot on me. I’m just looking at him and I say, “Well that’s gonna hurt tomorrow.”

The bar staff kindly escort us to another posh sofa, get Kitchen Guy outta there, and J and I sit there in stunned silence, downing our cocktails in an attempt to calm our hearts and not dwell on the fact that when someone punches someone else, it sounds like they’re punching a steak. Just, like… MEAT.

And then it’s time for our dinner reservation, and the bar staff comp our drinks, and we go on our merry way.

Happy birthday to me! 😀

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